The sexual act is possibly the most potent–and pleasurable–gateway to the primordial and the divine. From the Tantric mysteries of Hinduism and Buddhism and the inner alchemy of Taoism, to the traditions of Western Magic and Witchcraft–sex pervades the highest and most secret teachings all over the world.
Use the BWC Ritual of “5 easy Steps of Sex Magic”:
Set a goal
What exactly do you want to achieve with your magick? Your goal can be any material attainment, like a new job, prosperity in business affairs, a pleasant house, whatever.
Deeply desired wishes create the strongest magick!
Your goal can be the healing of yourself, another person, mother earth…
Your intent can be improvement of an existing relationship or attraction of a new one.
You may wish to (further) develop several qualities in yourself, or create an excellent artistic piece.
You may wish to embrace the inner lover, and establish a stronger connection with your higher self.
You may wish to charge an amulet, talisman, or magical tools, etc…
Prepare your working space.
Clean the space where the ritual will take place. Decorate it with candles, incense, flowers, gemstones or anything else you find appropriate. If you use symbols or other pictures make sure you can see them during the ritual. If you wish to play music, don’t forget to put it on the repeat-button. Close the door and lay the phone off the hook.
Clean your body.
While bathing or showering you can visualize the water washing off all mental, emotional and physical dirt.
Relax for a while. Take some deep breaths or meditate a little.
If you do magick with a partner you may want to sit opposite each other, hold hands and synchronize breathing or inhale while your partner exhales.
Do a banishment.
It is very important to visualize a strong circle/globe of protection that keeps all unwanted spirits out, or do any other banishment you prefer, before you actually start the ritual.
I often perform sex magick in nature, and it feels amazing to call to Pan’s playful and very naughty, highly masculine sexual nature. – BWS
Pan is the God I call to for my Pagan style celebrations, at certain times of the year. He is playful, and every sexually charged.
If so, set up this now. either in your mind, or on you altar.
Now you are ready to perform the ritual.
I know two ‘main routes’ to preparing for sex magic: one with emphasis on the affirmation/mantra/Word of Power, and one with emphasis on visualization.
Then create something that makes it possible to laser-like concentrate on your goal/intent during the ritual. – This can be a short affirmation. During the ritual you can repeat the whole affirmation.
– This can be a visualization of the new created reality.
– It can be a drawing of what you want.
– It can be a symbolic representation of your desire, like a suitable tarot card, rune, sigil, astrological or other symbol.
If you prefer working with a visualization:
Start with visualizing very vividly the new reality; see yourself in the desired situation, feel your happiness about it, visualize it as bright and detailed as you can.
When your visualization is complete to your idea, tell your mind that this is your focus, then mentally store it in your subconsciousness.
Start making love with your partner or masturbating, no longer thinking about the visualization.
At the brink of orgasm back off, recall your visualization and breathe your orgasmic energy in it.
Continue the rhythm of arousal and backing off several times.
Just before orgasm recall the visualization from your mind and breathe/channel your orgasm into it.
Another possibility is to reduce this affirmation to a word that covers its central idea; this will be your magical word.
the affirmation “I am a successful business(wo)man” …….becomes “Success”.
“I request the universe to send me the best possible lover, or partner” ……becomes “Lover” or “Partner”.
The idea behind it is that your subconsciousness now knows your full intent, therefore it is sufficient to only repeat your magical word during the ritual.
Tips: If you choose to work with an affirmation:
Arouse yourself and/or your partner by any sexual activity you wish to use until you almost reach orgasm. Meanwhile keep on repeating the affirmation or mantra; you can say it out loud or repeat it silently.
When you are at the brink of orgasm back off by stopping all genital stimulation, stopping all pelvic movements and relax the muscles in the pelvic floor.
Breathe deeply and concentrate even more on your mantra. After a while build up more excitement, backing off again just before the point-of-no-return. This way you build up a great amount of sexual magical energy and deep erotic sensations; you may reach a state of sexual trance.
After several times coming close you wish to sweep all of your intent into the universe; let orgasm happen and – here comes the most important part – keep on affirming during orgasm with full mental concentration, call out loud your magical word(s) and don’t mind the neighbors!
Take care: if you lose focus during orgasm, you will have had great sex but no magical ritual!
Continue the ritual until both (or all) partners have reached orgasm.
You can use a combination of the above.
Some words about orgasm:
If you are a woman capable of having multiple orgasms – (a series of orgasms quickly after one another) – just enjoy, have them during the ritual and end with the final orgasm.
If you are a man, here’s the good news that men can learn to have multiples too; by coming close then backing off just before the point-of-no-return several times men can experience all the feelings of an orgasm without having an ejaculation. Some men have a series of small orgasms, some men experience them as bigger orgasms. If you can do this, end the ritual with final orgasm/ejaculation. Not all men know that most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; although there are erotic areas in the vagina most women need the pressure of the pubic bone of their partner against the clitoris or stimulation by hand during intercourse to have orgasm.
After orgasm you may wish to confirm your magick with the words:
“So mote it be”
……and to give thanks to God/the Goddess and your partner.
It is important to stay close the first minutes after intercourse with your genitals close together.
There are two reasons for this:
When having sex your chakras open up and after orgasm you’re completely open with part of your energy swirling around you. You need some time to recollect it and get energized again. If one partner rushes away after orgasm you can feel very disappointed, lonely and exhausted because of this reason.
After sex magick the sexual fluids of man and woman are charged with their magical intent; they can etherically absorb this power for their well being and health through the vaginal walls and the head of the penis. It may be clear that when you use a condom it is very unwise to stay close together with your genitals. The charged sexual fluids can be used to charge an amulet or talisman by smearing some of it on them; in case your ritual was for gaining money you can smear it on a coin or paper money you had put on your altar; you can redraw the lines of a sigil for this ritual with it, mix the fluid with wine and drink it with your partner, etc.
In sex magick the charged sexual fluids have become the sacred elixir of life, and are in no way dirty. If however you are carrying a sexual transmittable disease it is best to skip this part.
When you are doing sex magick alone please know that your sexual fluids form a complete sacrament, although they now contain one polarity, not two.
I will collect sperm in an small plastic container, and use the sperm for spells and rituals at a later date. Don’t forget to put the sperm in the fridge! – BWS
End the ritual with a banishment.
The heightened energy of your ritual may have attracted astral beings. Make sure to keep them at a distance by reconfirming your banishment, like for instance a visualized circle of protection.
I’ve read a small pile of books on sex magic. This isn’t the same old stuff you’ve read a million times. His work is lucid and accessible, stripped of most of the nonsense that clutters the occult scene. The material he included on the Inner Fire practice is, by itself, well worth the price the book. If you’re new to the subject, start here. If you’re practicing but not getting anywhere, give this a read.
Today on our YouTube Channel, we had a quest from a lovely subscriber, asking: “How can I make someone desire me?”
We receive MANY requests from others asking: “How can I make (some person) fall in love with me?”
Others ask how to make their years-long spouse become sexually interested in them again.
You can have whatever you want.
Love is one of the most basic needs of human beings, and it seems that it is also one of the most unfulfilled needs as well.
What you need to know, is that YOU have the power to inflame sexual desire in anyone that you want. You LITERALLY can make your romantic target feel such strong emotional attraction to you that they become obsessed.
In the video, Janika asks you to prepare the items below, before you begin the spell together. A red candle A black marker or needle Something from desired person Match or lighter
SPELL NOTES: You can use a black marker to write on the candle, or you can use a needle to scratch the name and numbers into the wax. You will also need to obtain some object belonging to the person. Although a lock of hair or a paper with their handwriting on it works the best, any item that the person considers to be “theirs” will do This will usually work best when the person is sound asleep, so try to wait until after midnight to perform this simple ritual.
Click the video above, and let Janika guide you through the spell together.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Take the red candle
2. Write the name of the person you want to influence on the candle, lengthwise. Now, the person’s date of birth, write that on there as well.
3. Shut out the lights, and light the candles.
4. Sit in front of the candle, making sure that the name inscribed on it is facing you, so that you can see it.
5. Hold the object belonging to the person in your right hand.
6. Gaze deep into the candle’s flame, watching it dance, losing yourself in the natural trance that will come.
7. Still gazing into the candle’s flame, still entranced, feel the personal object that is in your right hand. Visualize the person that you want to effect. Bring the image of that person into your mind as clearly as possible. The name written on the candle and the object in your hand will make it very easy to establish this energetic connection.
8. NOW, you need to visualize yourself with that person. You can visualize making love to them, cuddling on a couch, holding hands in a park, or whatever sort of future scenario that you like. The key here is to visualize something that will occur in the future that is symbolic of the success of this ritual.
9. Repeat the incantation, (Person’s name), come to me!” You want the incantation to be simple and to the point. Continue to focus on the future outcome that you’ve visualized as you repeat this.
10. Through the process of this visualization and incantation, take all of your emotion, your desire, obsession, lust, longing, etc., and push that out of yourself, into the candle’s flame.
11. Continue to visualize the person that you intend to attract, and continue reciting the simple incantation, until all of your energy and emotion is exhausted.
12. Finalize the ritual by stating, “By the Powers of Magick, which are within me, I command that (Person’s Name) come to me.” Here, you can be more specific as to what you’d like to achieve as your final outcome.
One of the keys to successfully imprinting your will upon the world, or upon another person, is that you NEED to exhaust all of your desire for the end result IN THE RITUAL.
It is often said that as soon as you forget that you even performed the ritual, the rewards will come! This is why it is so important to push all of those emotions and thoughts out of yourself while performing the ritual.
This is just a very simple example of the Energy that you have inside of yourself, and how you can use it to make substantial changes in your life.
There are two things everyone in the community needs in order to prevent victimization: empowerment and safety. “Empowerment and safety for everyone!” should be our new rallying cry when we think about our community spaces.
This is to prevent victimization.
Victimization is a lot less likely to occur when people know exactly what is ok and what’s not, understand how to navigate these complex situations, and have a guaranteed support network from their entire community if something bad happens. Uncertainty and secrecy are the tools of predators. Let’s do our damnedest to take them away.
The first thing we need to do to make that happen is figure out a new code of conduct. The old rules we relied on to prevent victimization were all based on ideas of sexual repression. When we ditched the repression we ditched those old rules, and Paganism as a whole community has not yet replaced them with something that works with ideas of sexual openness. A commonly held set of community guidelines would take away the confusion, and give us at least the seeds for a united community response to violations.
I figured I’d do my part to get that particular ball rolling. So here are my Six Rules for Safer Pagan Sex.
What are the Six Rules?
I’d like to state up-front that I couldn’t care less about the specific activities a person chooses to engage in. As long as all people involved are happy then all’s well. These rules all address the interpersonal skills needed before, during, and after indulging in those activities.
These rules are:
1) No means no. Period.
2) Negotiate your sex prior to getting naked.
3) Altered people can’t consent.
4) Sex space is safe space.
5) What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
6) Don’t be that guy.
No means no. Period.
This is a big one. No one can touch you without your expressed consent. You and only you are in control of who touches you and how they touch you – I ask if hugs are ok until I know the person well. That extends to hair, jewelry, clothing, and anything else that is not community property.
Permission given once does not mean that that permission is given forever. It can be revoked at any time for any reason. And agreeing to a touch from one person does not extend that permission to anyone else.
If someone says “no”, whether it’s for a conversation or a touch or sex, that “no” is accepted at face value. There is no “trying to talk someone into it”, no questioning it, and no justification required. A simple “no” should end whatever the hell is happening immediately, and a “no” can be given at absolutely any time. You’re in the middle of ritual sex and one of the people involved suddenly feels uncomfortable? Then that sex stops, on a dime, and the person who put the brakes on it can’t be hassled about that decision.
This has to be community enforced. If for whatever reason someone isn’t listening to someone else’s “no”, other members of the community should damn straight step in and assist, up to and including removal of the person with boundary issues. No one should ever feel unsafe.
Negotiate your sex prior to getting naked.
Agreeing to sex doesn’t mean your partner now has total freedom to do whatever they want to you. Agreeing to have sex means you’re agreeing to have sex. How that sex happens still has to be decided. That’s negotiation.
The preferences and boundaries of all participants have to be made very clear before anything happens, and everyone has to be ok working within those expressed boundaries. “I’m ok with this, and love this other thing, but if you do that I’ll have to kill you so don’t.”
Negotiation requires a lot of honesty and communication, but it’s another way to help make sure everyone feels safe. Regular partners can usually boil this down to a short-hand form, since they’ve negotiated before, but it’s still an important step. Things could have changed.
If anything is not specifically agreed to during negotiation, it’s not done in the heat of the moment. Coitus – especially with a new partner – is not the time to whip out the surprises. But saying no at any time is perfectly ok.
In other words, agreements during negotiations are not binding, but refusals are.
If the idea of talking about sex like this makes you uncomfortable, you might want to reconsider whether you’re ready to engage in sexual activity at all. If you can’t talk about it you probably shouldn’t do it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting out until you’ve figured out what you’re ok with, either. I have personally witnessed negotiated “sex” that was three hours of a guy brushing a girl’s hair. And that was perfectly ok. No one present gave it a second thought – except to comment on how gorgeous her hair was.
Sometimes negotiations break down in the middle, and that’s ok too. Maybe the only thing you like sexually is the one thing that freaks your negotiation partner right the hell out. Or vice versa. Aren’t you glad you figured that out before getting naked?
Altered people can’t consent.
People cannot consent if they are chemically altered in any way. If you get drunk or high before the event, stay the hell home. If someone shows up to an event drunk or high, don’t let him/her in. If you were a little enthusiastic with the mead cup during the event, leave if possible or tell someone in charge what’s going on so they can look out for you while you sober up. If the person you want to have sex with is drunk or high, don’t have sex with them.
On this note, the endorphins released by your body during sex are also drugs. Naturally occurring drugs, true, but drugs all the same. That’s why negotiations are done before the sex and not during the sex. Someone suddenly being open during sex to something they were not down with during negotiations? That’s the endorphins talking, and does not constitute consent. They’re altered. Talk about it after the sex, and if they still want whatever you can always have sex again and include it.
Sex space is safe space.
There are a bunch of different types of people involved in the Pagan community, and for many of them the Pagan community is the only one in which they feel completely accepted.
Discrimination in any form – racism, sexism, homophobia, trans-phobia, size-phobia, ageism, etc – is simply not acceptable. Anyone who expresses or acts on any of the above is not helping other people feel safe and should either leave or be removed from the area. That goes across the board in general, and is even more important when sex is on the table. Getting naked makes people feel vulnerable enough in this society. There’s no excuse to make that worse.
This also extends to the types of activities people are doing. If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, it’s not your right to interrupt him or her or make them feel bad for liking whatever it is (unless there’s a clear consent/safety issue) . You don’t have to watch it either, though. Simply remove yourself from the space, quietly and without fuss.
I’d put relationship drama under this category too. Dragging your relationship drama into a space where people need to feel safe isn’t cool – it drags in a bunch of bad vibes that these people did not sign up for. If you run into an ex, or start that big break-up fight with a soon-to-be ex, take that noise elsewhere. There’s no reason to make everyone present uncomfortable with your personal issues.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Or wherever.
This is another way of making sure people stay safe. Who does what to whom is not discussed with anyone else. You can talk about the event in general terms, and you can certainly discuss what you did, but names and/or identifying characteristics of other people are not yours to share. So don’t. Respect the fact that some people have reasons for not advertising their involvement in whatever went down, and it’s not your right to question their decision. We’re all adults here, and maintaining confidentiality is respectful.
However, if something happens that makes you unsafe? If you see someone else feeling unsafe? If someone is victimized? Then toss confidentiality out the window. Report what happened immediately to whoever you can find. Safety trumps confidentiality every time.
Don’t be that guy.
There are a few special rules for those who are doing their thing in group settings, which for Pagans is generally at festivals and conventions. Different venues may have different rules, but these are fairly standard. If you find yourself in one of these more public venues please follow these guidelines. Please.
Do not perv on someone having sex in front of you. You can watch. You can get turned on. Depending on the rules of the space you might even be allowed to masturbate. But don’t get right on top of them to watch, don’t interrupt them, don’t ask to join in while they’re in the middle of things, and don’t have a loud conversation right next to them. It’s just rude. Keep a respectful distance away and make sure your enjoyment of what you’re watching doesn’t interfere with what they’re doing.
Clean up after yourself. Dispose of used safer sex materials in the appropriate place. Wipe things down. Sanitize surfaces. Take soiled linens to wherever the soiled linens are supposed to go. Keeping people safe doesn’t just mean emotionally – when body fluids are present there are physical health concerns too.
Keep activities to the designated space. Usually there’s a “social” area and a “sex” area, and the two are kept distinctly separate. Respect that, and use that. Do negotiations in the social space, so that the rules are set before you get lost in the middle of things and agree to something you wouldn’t otherwise be ok with. Overwhelmed in the sex space? Hit the social area. I’ve done entire events in the social area, and that’s ok. Things start heating up between you and your soon-to-be sexual partner (s) ? Move it to the sex area. You might be fine having sex in the social area, but that chick in the corner who feels brave for sitting in a chair around naked people won’t like it nearly as much. Respect the space, and by doing so respect the needs of the other people present.
I’d like each and every one of us to start taking responsibility for what’s happening around us. If you see something that makes you or someone else feel unsafe, say something. Speak up for those who, for whatever reason, have difficulty speaking up for themselves. If someone isn’t being heard, add your voice to his or hers. Do not be silent. Safety wins out over secrecy every time.
Hence, my posting this. Read it. Share it with your friends, your working group, the people you see at the next PNO, those at the next festival or convention you attend. Discuss it.
Disagree with me, even! Because as long as we’re actively engaging these topics we’ll pay better attention to them.
Lady Hannah – BWC
Today’s Moon Forecast
Moon in Gemini
Moon is traveling through witty Gemini today. Call, text, send email, write letters. Visit someone you've missed. Watch a movie and talk about it at a coffee shop. Be out and about. Don't sleep in.